The problems began after UK Foreign Secretary David Millipede praised the 'great courage' of Iranians who staged opposition protests on Sunday, to which Iranian Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki responded by saying, "Britain will get slapped in the mouth if it does not stop its nonsense".
This retort was met with a swift response from Foreign Office diplomats, who said, "We'll kick Iran in the nuts. We'll have them, yeah? Iran's just a big girl's blouse and smells of wee too", to which the Iranians responded by saying that Britain would 'get its head kicked in at playtime'.
The situation was exacerbated during yesterday by UN diplomats, who surrounded the two arguing nations chanting 'Fight! Fight! Fight!'.
However, in an attempt to resolve the dispute, the dads of both countries have agreed to meet for a coffee and to discuss the problems like reasonable adults. Britain and Iran are shortly expected to be told to grow up, grudgingly shake hands and be friends again.
David Millipede and Manouchehr Mottaki were not available for comment this morning - Millipede has gone home saying he's not playing with smelly girls any more, and Mottaki has been grounded.