I am not real.
And, if you are reading this, then congratulations. You are not real either. You don't exist, except in your own imagination.
Look around you. Look at the person next to you. Your co-worker, your wife, your child. They're not real. They don't exist.
We don't exist, because Labour have decided we don't exist.
When the GP told me I would have 'a significant wait' to get a referral for my hip problems, he and his words did not exist. The same is true for my mother, while she awaits referral and scheduling for major surgery. And the hundreds who died needlessly in Mid-Staffs NHS Trust and at Basildon - they didn't exist either.
We do not exist because Labour's statistics have decided that we don't. Their carefully-crafted numbers tell them that it can't possibly be happening. Their targets don't reflect the real needs of real people in the real world, so we are statistical anomalies, who can safely be ignored. So we don't exist.
When my friend gets burgled. When an elderly couple are burned alive in their own home. When a popular local shopkeeper is murdered, when a victim of crime cannot get his property back due to health-and-safety risks, we don't exist.
We do not exist because Labour's crime figures, carefully calculated and with enormously detailed specifications as to what constitutes a reportable crime, say that offending is at its lowest since records began. Therefore, the crime we see - the yobs, the antisocial behaviour and so on - are all Tory lies to decry the socialist Utopia in which we reside. In their statistical world there is no crime. Crime does not exist, so those who are victims of it do not exist either.
When the pound collapses, when the debt is unmanageable, when our bonds are junk and when the Government are the first in the reign of our Monarch to preside over a FALL in GDP - we do not exist.
We do not exist, because in the statistics of the Government we are only numbers on a balance sheet. For them the numbers are not real either - simply shadows, virtual values to be manipulated, massaged and concealed at will. We are the little sheep who unbleatingly pay the cost, thus we do not exist.
This Regime (as I've said before, I find it hard to credit them with the name 'Government') no longer see us as people, if they ever did. We are the numerals on the latest set of exquisitely-engineered statistics they use to confound us, and to convince themselves that they are justified in their grip on power.
A million people didn't exist when they demonstrated against the Iraq War. Their plans for electoral reform will ensure that the votes of millions don't exist when the next Election comes around.
For the Labour Party, there are only two types of people who exist. Those in the Parliamentary Labour Party, and those who fund the Parliamentary Labour Party. They care solely about their own power - they don't care about the people. We don't exist.
I don't know about you, but I do exist. And so do those I care about. And I don't want my child burdened with a debt created by a Regime that don't care that he exists. I don't want him educated by a system that cares more for statistics than education. I don't want him treated in hospital by an NHS that prioritises surveys more highly than sickness.
I want my voice to be heard, and real change to be made.
I want a Conservative Government.
And if you exist, so should you.