The outcry over the lack of non-white characters in the popular series has led the producer, Brian True-May, to confirm that he would make significant changes to 'reflect the multicultural nature of small English villages'.
Speaking to an emergency meeting of the Commission For Racial Equality, he said, "I don't want people to think I'm racist at all. I'm not, and obviously some of my best friends are ethnics. So I plan to bring the viewing public my vision and experience of the multicultural Cotswold village in future episodes."
Mr True-May added, "I will bring to bear all my knowledge of black and ethnic-minority culture to the series, and in doing so I believe I'll dispel these accusations of racism in the Midsomer world."
The upcoming series, which is to be co-produced by Jim Davidson, will see the character of DCI Barnaby replaced with a wisecracking Rastafarian detective who wears a big striped hat and says, "Ooooooooooooookay" repeatedly. Rumours that the character may be played by John Nettles in blackface remain unconfirmed.
Midsomer Norton is to be replaced by Midsomer Projects, a sink estate with rampant gun-battles between police, Crips and Bloods overspilling into the peaceful surrounding villages which are of course solely occupied by white, upper-class families and their servants.
Upcoming plots are said to include a series of mysterious murders over crack-dealing territory in Newton Magna, a riot during a rap battle at Ford Florey Village Hall, and the shooting of the Asian shopkeeper by a gangbanger in Morton Shallows.
In other news, producers of 'Neighbours' confirmed that they were considering cast changes to offset complaints that non-Australians were under-represented, and US hit show 'The Fresh Prince' will be banned from all UK terrestrial channels.
The Diary has learned that Equalities Minister Theresa May is to make an Emergency Statement to MPs on the issue of under-representation of ethnic minorities in a not-very-good TV crime drama, because of course there is nothing more important going on anywhere in the world right now.