The world was completely unsurprised last night when, in accordance with history, tradition and convention, diplomats at the
The UN Security Council last night voted 10:5 - a startling degree of unanimity from the traditionally divided talking-shop - to send a polite note to Colonel Muammar Genocide of Libya asking him nicely if he wouldn't mind stopping slaughtering absolutely everyone in his country.
Experienced UN-watchers expressed surprise at so strong and quick a decision from the Security Council, coming as it did just a few days after Colonel Genocide made a start on slaughtering absolutely everybody in his country.
A UN spokesman in New York said, "Security Council 173 sends a strong message to Colonel Genocide that the United Nations will, as we always have, sit and do precisely fuck-all until forced, at which point we will respond with the full force of the minimum we can get away with."
BBC UN Correspondent Mark Mardybum said, "while the severity of this UN decision is extremely surprising, the actual time it took to make it is completely normal . The UN has a long tradition of appeasement, disunity in the face of massacres and, of course, hoping that if they ignore a problem for long enough it will go away before they have to interrupt lunch to do something about it."
The Security Council resolution also threatens the imposition of a No-Fly-Zone over Libya, which is expected to be patrolled by the UK, who are believed to have as many as two aircraft available at present and no aircraft carriers, and the French, who have already surrendered. Arab League countries, who requested the imposition of a no-fly-zone last week, will not be using any of the new, shiny F-15s and F-16s they've been buying in hundreds from the US with petrodollars, as these are needed to brutally suppress their own internal calls for democracy.
Independent observers estimate that by the time aircraft are on station, Colonel Genocide will have completed his operations, bombed Benghazi flat, and the population of Libya will consist of the Colonel himself, his son Sadist Al-Genocide, their respective wives and the Colonel's pet camel Fred.
Neville Chamberlain was unavailable for comment.