Where's 'Dixon of Dock Green' . . .

. . .these days? Where are the REAL coppers?

So I'm reclining in my sickbed this evening, when at quarter past seven the doorbell rings.

I open the door to be greeted by two rather burly asian gentlemen in green reflective jackets. The closest to me flashes a card round his neck for about a picosecond.

"Evening. We're from EDF. You've got an account with us and. . . "

"Let me just stop you there. We don't have an account with you. What's your reason for calling, please?"

"Er. Well. Er. You called us out and. . ."

"No, we made no such call. Now, please would you state the reason for your call, and may I see your ID again?".

"Um. Er. No, we'll write. Bye.".

Well, cynical and suspicious Dungeekin that I am, I check with my neighbour. She's had them knock on her door - they tried a sales pitch on her, and pressed quite hard to get through her door.

I get straight on the phone to EDF Energy, and through to a supervisor, fully prepared to unleash The Wrath for an unsolicited doorstep call - Only to be advised that EDF don't cover Oxfordshire. Never have. Probably never will.

According to the incredibly helpful J***** Th******, team leader, they've got nobody in the area. She even checks with her maintenance and sales teams before calling me back to advise me to call the Police.

I do so.

They're very helpful, taking all the details...and they call me back 15 minutes later to tell me they've seen the men in question and that they have IDs.

"Have you checked with EDF?", I ask.

"No.", says the copper in question. "They had IDs."

"Fine - except EDF, the company they purport to represent, are saying they're bogus".

So I call EDF again. EDF call Thames Valley Police - who say they've got 'someone' (their word) keeping an eye out. According to JT, they're about as disinterested as it's possible to be.

What. The. Fuck.

We have elderly and vulnerable people living in this development. I've just been around all of them warning them, and in some cases giving them MY number. Where are the police?

We pay our Council Tax. WHERE ARE THE POLICE??

They can stop a few blokes walking down Whitehall in Halloween masks, but they can't be bothered to look for a couple of guys who've been proved in pretty much every way to be bent - probably distraction burglars? Does one of my neighbours, or someone else in this town, have to have seven shades of crap kicked out of them before the Plod will actually put down their coffee and look for genuine criminals?

Well. EDF are pissed off and JT is escalating the Police response through their management chain. I thought I was going to be writing a post savaging them for their sales approach - as it is, instead I'm praising them for their responsiveness, communication and attitude and slaughtering the Fingermen for not giving a shit about real crime.

When an elderly person is robbed, or when they have their savings or jewellery stolen by these bastards - I'm going to make more noise about the Plod's attitude than you can possibly imagine. They need to get off their lazy, tea-swilling arses, stop searching 'politicals' and deal with real criminals, attempting to do real damage to real people in my local area.