Ricky Gervais, with standard conceited expression.It was almost perfect. Almost.
Glorious Spanish sunshine. 35 degrees. A beautifully-appointed apartment with everything thought of, from iPod dock to Nespresso machine, and a peaceful pool - all far enough away from the Little Britain of Marbella for me to forget I was on the Costa Del Sol.
We even managed to get through the mandatory sales pitch (a requirement for the stupidly-cheap short break we'd wangled) without the rep suffering serious or long-term injuries.
It was, quite simply, glorious.
Even our return seemed blessed - instead of the expected Sleazyjet transport, where comfort is not on the options list, we were treated to the leather upholstery and vast legroom of a chartered TitanAir 757. All was looking good. Until they started the in-flight movie.
It was Ricky Gervais, 'starring' in 'The Invention of Lying'.
Thankfully, I couldn't hear it (I wasn't going to pay £3 for a set of earphones to hear his whiny, adenoidal Estuary-speak). It was bad enough enduring two hours of his face on-screen every time I looked up from my book.
Ricky Gervais brings out in me an immediate and irrational rage normally reserved solely for Labour politicians. I find it nigh-on impossible to discern why this lumpen cretin with his stupid piggy eyes and his stupid pointy teeth and his stupid permanently conceited expression should be such a darling of TV and movies, both here and in Hollywood. The only reasoning would seem to be his unutterable arrogance - he seems to expect that he should be a star, and somehow his simple expectation has been sufficient to make him so despite his being about as attractive as bowel disease and as talented as a sedated halibut.
There's only one film I would like to be made starring Ricky Gervais. It's the home movie where he's nailed to a chair and then beaten repeatedly in the face with a sharpened spade. And then set on fire.
If anyone would like a full synopsis or the DVD rights, let me know.
Ricky Gervais. Twat.
Glorious Spanish sunshine. 35 degrees. A beautifully-appointed apartment with everything thought of, from iPod dock to Nespresso machine, and a peaceful pool - all far enough away from the Little Britain of Marbella for me to forget I was on the Costa Del Sol.
We even managed to get through the mandatory sales pitch (a requirement for the stupidly-cheap short break we'd wangled) without the rep suffering serious or long-term injuries.
It was, quite simply, glorious.
Even our return seemed blessed - instead of the expected Sleazyjet transport, where comfort is not on the options list, we were treated to the leather upholstery and vast legroom of a chartered TitanAir 757. All was looking good. Until they started the in-flight movie.
It was Ricky Gervais, 'starring' in 'The Invention of Lying'.
Thankfully, I couldn't hear it (I wasn't going to pay £3 for a set of earphones to hear his whiny, adenoidal Estuary-speak). It was bad enough enduring two hours of his face on-screen every time I looked up from my book.
Ricky Gervais brings out in me an immediate and irrational rage normally reserved solely for Labour politicians. I find it nigh-on impossible to discern why this lumpen cretin with his stupid piggy eyes and his stupid pointy teeth and his stupid permanently conceited expression should be such a darling of TV and movies, both here and in Hollywood. The only reasoning would seem to be his unutterable arrogance - he seems to expect that he should be a star, and somehow his simple expectation has been sufficient to make him so despite his being about as attractive as bowel disease and as talented as a sedated halibut.
There's only one film I would like to be made starring Ricky Gervais. It's the home movie where he's nailed to a chair and then beaten repeatedly in the face with a sharpened spade. And then set on fire.
If anyone would like a full synopsis or the DVD rights, let me know.
Ricky Gervais. Twat.
2 comments:
I liked "Extras". Anything else he did pissed me off because ... oh, you said it all.
Can I book an advance copy of your proposed epic?
I've seen The Invention Of Lying but had to watch it in bits because it was so slow-paced. Believe it or not there are one or two amusing moments but they are few and far between and all based on the reaction of people at being told the absolute truth at all times as in "do you really fancy me" but it soon becomes predictable.
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