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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Clegg Promises Party Donation Reform

Clegg: "my hands are clean. My bank account, on the other hand...."

Liberal Democrat Messiah Nick Clegg has promised a 'radical reform' of the way political parties are funded, as he attempts to cement the Lib Dem's recent upswing in the opinion polls.

Speaking from the Liberal Democrat Battlebus en-route to Bristol for tonight's X-Factor Leaders Debate, His Holiness said that the country needed 'total reform' of the system of political donations, following controversies such as 'cash for honours' and the non-dom scandals.

Mr Clegg said, "we need change and the other two parties will not provide it. Only the Liberal Democrats can provide the honesty and integrity needed for a political donation system that is completely above board. Unlike the other two, who can't, because they're the other two and I, Nick Clegg, am not like the other two at all. Honest.

"Therefore, when I am Prime Minister I will introduce a new political system whereby I will take responsibility for donations to political parties. Simply pay the money into my personal bank account and it can rest there until I allocate it in accordance with the will of the people. I won't benefit in any way from, say, the interest or cashflow benefits of Party donations in my personal account. Oh, no. Honest. Because you can trust me. I'm Nick Clegg. I'm not like the other two - I'm whiter than white."

The Diary attempted to speak to senior Lib Dem sources for their comment, but couldn't hear them over the din of their political hopes crashing around them.

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1 comment:

Dippyness. said...

At least with Diago as a "friend" his parties will never be dry. Come to think of it...I may go to the next one!