Dungeekin Minor is, as you may be aware, rapidly approaching his fifth birthday. And like every almost five-year-old, he rather likes to get his own way. And of course, when he doesn't get his own way, then there follows the oft-heard cry of, "but it's not FAIR, Daddy!".
And that's what I hear when politicians and the right-on brigade wibble endlessly about 'a fair society', 'a fair deal', 'fairness for all' and whatever other meaningless platitude they can shoehorn the word into. They think chanting a mantra of fairness makes them sound caring and inclusive.
It doesn't. It makes them sound like a besuited 'Kevin the Teenager'*. Add a few spots and some greasy hair and the impression would be perfect.
I am sick to the back teeth of this constant bleating about 'fairness'. Life is not fair. It never has been and it never will be.
'Fairness' is an abstract concept - a construct of academics (for whom 'fairness' means secure tenure), an ideological cant for PPE and sociology students (for whom 'fairness' means their beer and tuition fees are covered by the taxpayer), and a meaningless soundbite for those same students when they become politicians or quangocrats (when 'fairness' means an undeservedly high salary, mink-lined pension pot and unlimited expenses). 'Fairness' does not take into account human nature.
Is it 'fair' that The Darling G and I work hard (in the case of G, well above 80 hours per week), save, invest and work our way up the property ladder? Labour and the Lib Dems seem to think that it's unfair for us to do that - we're trampling on the faces of the low-paid, and there's no way we can deserve what we have. So they insist on taking more than their share in tax to make it 'fairer'. And it goes to people like the Daveys.
Is it 'fair' that someone can choose to quit their job and live on benefits - I say that again, CHOOSE to live on taxpayer's money** - while breeding with the profligacy of a feral creature, expecting us to pick up the tab? Or is it 'fairer' for the wider population to say to freeloaders such as these, "NO. Once you've exhausted the contribution you (briefly) made to the National Insurance system, that's your lot."
The only truly 'fair' system would be a flat, State-paid income whatever your employment, mandated and state-supplied clothing, vehicles and recreation. Oh, and you'd have to place a limit on procreation, too, as it would be unfair for people to get 'more' simply by breeding. But we know that (thankfully) that's not going to happen, for the simple reason that it's completely unworkable in practice. And inherently unfair, in fact, as it stifles human aspiration.
Instead, the politicians promise 'fairness' when in fact they mean nothing like it - because nothing like it exists. Fairness is personal.
So, politicians - stop ranting on about 'fairness'. Life isn't fair, something that every child learns when they're the age of Dungeekin Minor. Conceptual 'fairness' doesn't take into account individuals. So the only truly fair thing you can do is butt out, and let us get on with our own lives in the way we deem best.
And stop giving my money to sponging wasters like the Daveys.
* Especially when the whining comes from the Limperal Dumbocrats, who have even less chance of getting their own way than Dungeekin Minor.
** H/T to Al Jahom, who does the sweary bit much, much better than I can about these freeloading wasters.