But the point is that I'd always thought that burglary was illegal. That is, it was Against The Law.
Clearly, I was wrong. Burglary is now the domain of the State, I'm delighted to report.
The right to search homes, seize cash, freeze bank accounts and confiscate property will be given to town hall officials and civilian investigators employed by organisations as diverse as Royal Mail, the Rural Payments Agency and Transport for London. The Proceeds of Crime act will now be used against fare dodgers, families in arrears with council tax and other 'minor offenders'.
Oh, lovely. So forget about the shell-suited chav - now all it will take is a mustachioed council Jobsworth with a clipboard and dubious social skills to leave your house empty.
Imagine, dear Reader. Given that once they were given the right, Councils used anti-terror laws to monitor bin collections, school catchment areas and even teenage smokers, just how do you imagine the local officious brigade will implement their newly-garnered rights?
Got a parking ticket? We'll have your car, you evil miscreant. Oh dear, your Council Tax payment's a month late. That'll cost you your telly and your next years' wages, thanks very much. And God help you if you put the wrong plastic in your recycling bin. because we'll repossess your wife and sell her into white slavery, mortgage your children on the internet and flog the family dog to an environmentally-friendly sausage factory. You're a criminal, you deserve it.
The only upside I can see is that it's unlikely the Council Official will crap on your carpet.
In one stroke, this legislation effectively nationalises property. You no longer own the goods you purchased with the sweat from your brow - you merely borrow them from the State, and they will now have the right to remove those goods, legally and at a whim, on the flimsiest of premises.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "well, OK, this is awful law, yet again trampling on the rights of ordinary hard-working citizens and lumping them, yet again, in with criminals. But it's alright, we only have to wait until the General Election and the Conservatives will repeal it". Right?
Wrong, I'm afraid. Not a bit of it.
Remember, the country (and thus the Government) is skint. They've run up a level of debt beyond all comprehension. They don't have money, and they can't tax us any more than they already are. So they need some way to get their hands on what little we have remaining.
By using dubious laws to seize our personal property, the State achieves a triple whammy. One, they nick your stuff and flog it, raising immediate cash. Two, the proceeds can be used by the councils to supplement their budgets, meaning the Government has to give them less. Thirdly (and this is the sheer genius) YOU have to buy a replacement for whatever they've yaffled. Which puts money into circulation in the economy and allows the Government to point to recovery.
Sheer genius. Well done, chaps. Even at my most eloquent, I cannot find the words to elucidate just how much I fucking hate you.