The One-Eyed Scottish Moron

Well, it's now pretty clear that Gollum and Eyebrows were absolutely right, and Britain was uniquely-placed to face the longest Recession on record.

Specifically, we were uniquely badly placed, as I think we can all now see.

So in these straitened and troubled times, I'd like to offer a spot of humour, by way of one of my favourite performance poems. Unfortunately, I couldn't make my version humorous, as there's nothing in this Nation's finances to smile about.

Enjoy the video.

There's a one-eyed Scottish moron
Claims dominion over you,
From his bunker in the centre of the town;
And a brokenhearted Britain,
Mourns the nation we once knew
As the Labour Party brings this country down.

And the ZanuLiebore crew,
Taxed us all far more than due,
And performed more ills than I'm inclined to tell,
For their military pranks,
They are hated in the ranks,
And a laughing-stock throughout the world as well.

Some of us knew all along,
That New Labour would do wrong,
And a sad return to dark days would befall,
But we hadn't counted on,
When the Bliar was finally gone,
Was the moron and his mates - Straw, Hoon and Balls.

So returning to the present,
Government without a clue,
And the moron's mad behaviour, strange and odd,
We all know it's just a pretence,
And they don't know what to do,
So it's further into bankruptcy we plod.

Now the people are forlorn
Wallets empty, hope stillborn,
As recession drives us deeper in the red,
We could fix it straight away,
If the Tories had their day,
But more Labour slaughter,
Still remains ahead.

There's a one-eyed Scottish moron
Claims dominion over you,
From his bunker in the centre of the town;
And a brokenhearted Britain,
Mourns the nation we once knew
As the Labour Party brings this country down.