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Friday, May 22, 2009

BREAKING: Michael Jackson Sues UK Furniture Retailer

Jackson recently, displaying his DFS cream-leather epidermis.

Prince of Pop and paedophilia poster-boy Michael Jackson is to take legal action against furniture company DFS, according to a statement released today by his lawyers.

Jackson, 50, has been diagnosed with cancerous skin lesions, which threaten to delay the start of his new contract at London's O2 Arena.

The former star's lawyer, Dwight Ambulancechaser, announced this morning that Jackson is to sue DFS for the cost of his medical treatment and any delays, as they supplied the cream leather Jackson used for his complete skin replacement in 2002.

Ambulancechaser said, "we hold DFS responsible for the skin problems Michael is suffering, and we believe that there were inadequate quality controls in the procurement of suitable albino calves for the leather, and potentially carcinogenic chemicals used in the blanching and softening processes. DFS are therefore liable, and we will use the full power of the law against them."

A spokesman for DFS said that they would not comment in detail on Jackson's action, but pointed out that Jackson was in arrears on the 5-years interest-free payments on his replacement epidermis.

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