I'm never normally given to public displays of affection. Normally, my personal limit extends merely to holding hands.
But tonight, as I sit here at an expectant keyboard, I'm wracked with the need to voice - publicly - just what it is I'm feeling.
There's a person who is currently some 3,950 miles away, doing her job. A job, I should add, that I'm immensely proud of her for doing.
This lady came into my life just over two years ago, at what was an extremely bad time for me emotionally. When all around me seemed black and I was doubting whether I would be the same man again. Just by her love for me (frequently unexpressed, but rarely, if ever, doubted) she brought out of that blackness a different, better man. One who still retained all his geeky tendencies, and yet had more of a taste for life, more confidence with people and a sense of joy and curiosity he thought he'd lost years before.
Thanks to this lady's support, I've restored friendships I thought lost forever. I discovered new friendships I never thought I could make. I career-changed to a job I love. All down to her influence.
It's currently Day Four of her absence from me, and she won't be back for another seven.
When she and I are apart - and with her work, that's frequent - the clock stops. I get up, I go to work, I come home - and like Neo, "night after night I sit at my computer". I put on the TV, trying to drown the silence that surrounds me with the lack of her presence on the sofa, in the bed, in my life. I count the minutes, ever aware of the time difference between where I am and wherever in the world she is, and the next brief window when she and I can speak.
She is "my north, my south, my east and west, my working week, my Sunday rest. My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song".
This is, as I said at the start, a rare (and very public) display of affection for a lady I adore. She doesn't know I've written this, and she won't be expecting this.
Darlin', you mean more to me than I could ever tell you. It's you and me against the world, and you and I are gonna win.
I can't wait till you come home.
xxx
But tonight, as I sit here at an expectant keyboard, I'm wracked with the need to voice - publicly - just what it is I'm feeling.
There's a person who is currently some 3,950 miles away, doing her job. A job, I should add, that I'm immensely proud of her for doing.
This lady came into my life just over two years ago, at what was an extremely bad time for me emotionally. When all around me seemed black and I was doubting whether I would be the same man again. Just by her love for me (frequently unexpressed, but rarely, if ever, doubted) she brought out of that blackness a different, better man. One who still retained all his geeky tendencies, and yet had more of a taste for life, more confidence with people and a sense of joy and curiosity he thought he'd lost years before.
Thanks to this lady's support, I've restored friendships I thought lost forever. I discovered new friendships I never thought I could make. I career-changed to a job I love. All down to her influence.
It's currently Day Four of her absence from me, and she won't be back for another seven.
When she and I are apart - and with her work, that's frequent - the clock stops. I get up, I go to work, I come home - and like Neo, "night after night I sit at my computer". I put on the TV, trying to drown the silence that surrounds me with the lack of her presence on the sofa, in the bed, in my life. I count the minutes, ever aware of the time difference between where I am and wherever in the world she is, and the next brief window when she and I can speak.
She is "my north, my south, my east and west, my working week, my Sunday rest. My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song".
This is, as I said at the start, a rare (and very public) display of affection for a lady I adore. She doesn't know I've written this, and she won't be expecting this.
Darlin', you mean more to me than I could ever tell you. It's you and me against the world, and you and I are gonna win.
I can't wait till you come home.
xxx
3 comments:
Lovely expression of your feelings. :)
well what can I say?? Other than I am rather less prone to even private displays of affection, so you're a soppy git! I knew that homesick would hit me bad this time and I hate the fact that you don't look after yourself properly when I am away! - Thank goodness that you're off for some Sussex hospitality this weekend. Anyhow, like you say, only 7 days to go xxx
Damn, you've made me cry.
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