THE DIARY OF A GEEK IN OXFORDSHIRE


Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

On the Strange Case of the Trousers in the Night


Attend to me, Watson, for we need to share our prodigious skills to solve this baffling conundrum.

So the facts as we know them are these:

The Darling G and my good self entertained some 40 souls at our domicile on the Saturday eve, in celebration of the good lady's {classified} birthday.

While never raucous or uncouth, said festivities did involve our distinguished guests imbibing a not-insignificant quantity of 'the demon drink' - overall some 12 bottles of finest Champagne, 2 bottles of Pimms, 40 bottles of ale, 10 bottles of Viogner and a truly astonishing 30 bottles of Shiraz.

I wish to assure you, my dear Watson, that at no time did the gathering descend into ribaldry or debauchery. And yet, upon rising on the Sunday morn, we discovered a strange and as-yet unexplained phenomenon in our drawing room.

To wit, one pair of Next mens' trousers, black in hue, in the size of 34" about the waist and with a short, 29" inside leg measurement.

This case, my dear Watson, is far from elementary.

I can recall no male guest departing the celebrations untrousered, yet I feel certain I would have remembered such a display of incivility had it occurred. No debaggings took place, and to this date neither The Darling G nor myself have been approached by an attendee complaining of an unwarranted breeze about the nether regions.

So given the curious nature of this case, I propose that there is but one solution. I shall be taking an advertisement in the Times of London, detailing the abandoned garment and inviting whichever of our welcome guests is suffering a wardrobe malfunction to collect said items post-haste.

Watson - they're not YOURS, are they?

1 comment:

Vics said...

LOL sounds like my kinda party there m'lovely.

We had one similar occasion where a ladies undergarment was hanging from the ceiling fan by a strap - no one knew how it got there and it was never claimed..