Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Labour Party Leader 'Little' Ed Millipede has vowed an urgent inquiry and 'swift punishment'. after details of the Opposition's deficit-reduction plans were left in a public place and subsequently released to the Press.
The news comes in the wake of Chancellor George Botox's swingeing cuts to the UK Budget, which are believed to amount to a massive £750 over the course of the next seventeen Parliaments, and after Shadow Chancellor Alan Useless had spent significant time wibbling pointlessly about how terrible the debt was that Labour didn't cause, honest.
The top-secret Labour document was reportedly found left on a seat in a progressive gentleman's club, where the Minister in possession of it had been spanking taxpayers money, among other things, and was passed to The Diary by a
stripper caring member of the public that your Correspondent doesn't use monthly.
Master Millipede said, "the leaking of this document is an egregious offence, and we will track down the irresponsible individual and have them punished. Probably by my Governess."
The document is believed to be a single sheet of foolscap, containing the text, "Our Deficit Reduction Plan: LIE", and is currently being studied by a crack team of psychologists, economists and the ONS to establish precisely how it differs from any other plan Labour have had over the last thirteen years.
Gordon Brown was unavailable for comment. Again.
Posted by Dungeekin at 5:49 pm