BREAKING NEWS: City of London Hit by Power Cut

The City of London has this morning been hit by a massive power cut, blacking out most of the Square Mile's financial institutions and leaving bankers and traders unable to work.

The power cut is believed to have been caused by every single one of the Bank of England's printing presses going into overdrive simultaneously.

Under the BoE's new Quantitive Easing policy, all the new banknotes created will have an extra zero added - the £5 becoming £50, the £10 becoming £100 and so on. A spokesman for the Monetary Policy Committee said that they were introducing the new policy 'based on the successes of Quantitive Easing in Zimbabwe'.

The power cut in the City has so far caused no major problems, given that the banks and the Stock Exchange are all too screwed and skint actually to do anything. The only personnel affected are those currently counting Sir Fred Goodwin's monthly pension payout.