Wayne Rooney Junior.

I'm not normally a 'Hello' magazine type, but my hearty congratulations to Mr W Rooney Esq and his lovely WAGwife on the birth of their first child. I'm sure it didn't take him too many attempts to work out how it happened.

I understand from the reactions of those delivery-room staff who were first to see the newborn, he's to be named, "Aaaaaaaargh!".