Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Public-sector organisations across the UK have vowed to take strike action in the coming weeks, in protest at the budget cuts being implemented by the Coalition government.
Chancellor George Botox is swinging the financial axe with a target of cutting Government expenditure by 40%, as the Government struggle to reduce the deficit passed on to them by their predecessors.
However, the news has been met with anger by public sector managers and Trades Union leaders, who have defended their right to spunk astronomical amounts of taxpayer money up the wall while delivering no apparent benefit whatsoever.
Dave Trotsky, General Secretary of Unison, which represents the majority of public-sector wastage, said, "It's a sad day for the public sector as a whole, and mindless, money-chomping bureaucracy in particular.
"For thirteen years we've had endless amounts of money thrown at us, allowing us to build a bureaucracy that was the envy of the world - at least, that part of the world which thought Stalin was a pretty good administrator. Our management layers have produced levels of inefficiency and inertia never before seen in this country, while still ensuring that we have sufficient plausible deniability to meet our nebulous statistical targets."
Mr Trotsky was shaking with emotion as he called for industrial action against cuts, saying, "we will paralyse this nation! How will a nurse give a patient their medication without filling in Form S27/B6, in triplicate? How will the Police operate without full, 90 minute Risk Assessments prior to getting out of their patrol car? We call on all right-thinking…no, left-thinking….er… people to join us! No cuts! It is the purpose of the public sector to piss away money we haven't got, on pointless layers of management we don't need, and we MUST be allowed to continue."
However, Unison's call for action was met with derision from average taxpayers, who pointed out that if we cut the management numbers by 75% and put the savings to the frontline, we would probably see a 100% increase in stuff actually getting done.
Gordon Brown was unavailable for comment, as he'd just wet himself. Again.