As you know, I am the true power in the country. I am frequently behind Gordon Brown (in more ways that one, duckie, if you catch my meaning) - and I'm also frequently behind the public lavs near Westminster Bridge...but enough about me, let's talk about me.
Reinaldo and I, as Queen and Consort, understand the pressures placed on the little people by the economic downturn. Obviously it doesn't affect us directly, because our Christmas was all handled by the Parliamentary expense account at Fortnums - but we do hear the stories. Just yesterday, our Butler was in tears while serving the stuffed swan, as he was in arrears with his mortgage and about to be repossessed. Reini and I, of course, did what we could - we fired him. The last thing we want is miserable people around at Christmas.
I want you to know that my Government is getting on with the job, and doing everything in our power to ensure that we
Which is murder for the cleaners, I can tell you.
Moving on to democracy - my Government is getting on with the job there too. Jacqui's doing a lovely job making sure we don't have to bother with it any more, and we've organised a deal with the darlings at the BBC to give you
So, in conclusion, for all my Subjects 2009 will be a year to look forward to. My Government will get rid of nasty, mucky elections once and for all, giving me a wide backdoor (just like Gordon's - mmmm!) to take the Throne as the rightful Queen of England.
Rejoice, proles of England, and celebrate the ascension of Queen Mandy the First! Seasons Greetings to you all - I'm off to play naked Twister with the Speaker. Apparently, he's got a Black Rod....